I am Lazy

Following my confessions of indoor Frisbee playing and thoughts about walking the dog on a treadmill from my armchair, I have realised I am officially a lazy git.

I am the kid who was led to believe that by the turn of the century we should have had robots doing the housework, serving you drinks and washing the car. Personally, I blame the programme “Tomorrow’s World” for introducing us to all these labour saving concepts and thereby brainwashing me as a child.

Having said that, I am also guilty of failing to take advantage of the many technologies that do exist to make our lives easier. For example we still do not have a dishwasher. I defend this by suggesting it’s far more environmentally friendly to wash your dishes by hand. In doing so, I am of course single handedly saving the planet. My wife will say that I’m just a tight git who won’t buy one. I’ll leave you to make up your own mind.

Anyway, now I have confessed to being a tight and lazy git I might as well ask for some other offences to be taken into consideration.

It struck me this morning that despite having an annoying warning message flashing at me on the car dashboard every day for the last six weeks, I still haven’t got round to changing my brake light bulb. I mean we are not talking huge expense or a major inconvenience here, all I have to do is stop past Halfords and spend about two minutes in the boot of the car and yet it remains undone.

In fact, bulb replacement must be one of my weaknesses. Again, I tell you no lies; my fridge light has been out for at least six months. Someone (My Cuntry Manor) was posting pictures of inside your fridge on Twitter the other week and I couldn’t join in, because my fridge was too dark.

Furthermore, my cooker hood bulb went out over a year ago, leaving my hob in relative gloom. Even worse, the oven light, you know the one inside the oven hasn’t worked for as long as I can remember.

Don’t mention Christmas lights either, half the bulbs on the tree were not working last year, although in my defence I couldn’t find any suitable replacement ones in Homebase after I was nagged incessantly for half of December.

Now that covers all my lack of bulb replacements, I’m glad I’ve got that off my chest. Oh crap, just remembered one of the table lamps in the bedroom too.

I’m not sure I have time to go into all the torches, toys or other things that are lying around needing batteries nor the set of shelves we bought from IKEA four years ago that are still sitting in the bottom of the wardrobe waiting to be put up.

In fact, I was also supposed to touch up all the internal woodwork varnish last year but I think the wife has forgotten about that , or is just keeping quiet about it because her bloody dog has chewed half the skirting boards.

I think I may have to stop this confession as I’m starting to recall even more grievous acts of sheer laziness that I had no intention of uncovering and must have been successful in forgetting them altogether in the first place.

I’m beginning to think I must have Spanish blood or the most advanced case of “mañana, mañana” syndrome in the western world.