Had my first ‘festive’ turkey lunch today (1st
November)....wonder how many I will manage between now and actual proper Christmas
dinner. God it really is starting earlier every year. The hollowed out pumpkins
haven’t even decomposed to mush yet.
Speaking of which or should that be witch. Halloween came
and went without too much incident. Daughter dressed up as a blood soaked bride
and went around with a deranged look that can only be described as a cross
between Jack Nicholson in The Shining and a zombie. I think she’s setting her
stall out early for future husband persecution, probably aided and abetted by
my other half’s leading example.
Son, being typically autistic, did not want to dress up in
any ‘normal’ outfit and bizarrely designed his own costume which consisted of a
plain black helmet, a plain back chest plate and a sword. While you have to
admire this creativity, I have no idea what any of the neighbours thought he
was dressed as and am only grateful that my aforementioned wife had to craft
this creation from nothing more than cardboard, paper-mache and black paint to
his exacting standards. This is doubly difficult when you consider many of these
images and specifications are pictured absolutely clearly in his head and can
be misinterpreted and cause meltdowns of epic proportions because the back of
the helmet is two inches longer than it was supposed to be.
I thought I had escaped any involvement, only to be told he
was expecting a Minecraft pumpkin to be carved. This sent shivers down my
spine. How many times would I have to try to get it as he wanted? Would it even
be possible to carve some extravagant creation with my limited kitchen knife
set and power drill? Luckily for me a Minecraft Creeper is a very simple block
character shape, so disaster was averted once again.
As my own brood left for their trick or treating expedition.
I was left to dish out the sweets to the masses of little spooks, ghouls and
witches arriving at our door, while trying to control our monster Labrador from
going berserk every time the bell went. Still, at least I got to stuff my face
with Haribos and mini bounty bars.
After listening to the usual Halloween based jokes and
pretending to laugh, one eight year old completely surprised me when I asked if
they had a joke to tell.
“Yes”. “Why do Squirrels swim on their backs?”
Err, I don’t know.
“To keep their nuts dry”
Tonight it’s back to IKEA assembly following six weeks
waiting for a blooming carpet to arrive. No rest for the wicked.
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